As I looked at the calendar today I realized that tomorrow it will be exactly two years since the whole breast cancer thing started. Two years ago they told me "it no longer looks consistent with something benign". I can still remember the exact words. I can still remember that beautiful, clear, sunny December day when everything changed. Sometimes I can't believe it all happened and other times it seems so real.
When I look at my life now, it could not be any more different than it was when I was diagnosed. If you told me two years ago that I would quite my career, stay home, do volunteer work and be a soccer mom I would have laughed. Now, that is my reality. It's a far cry from the type A, career driven working mom I was before.
The other day I was driving in my car and thinking about my life now and just thinking how incredibly happy I am. I love my new life. I feel such joy everyday. I feel like a completely different person than the woman I was before breast cancer. I am glad that I get to experience this level of joy in my life, but feel sad that it took breast cancer to get here. I know I can't change that so I don't dwell on it, but I just wish I could have gotten here a different way.
The other thing I thought about is "will this all come crashing down"? Life feels so good now....will something come along and destroy that? I know that sounds negative, but life seems too good to be true at times. That scares me.
As I think about how I felt at the beginning of my diagnosis, how I felt one year after diagnosis and how I feel now I realize just how far I have come. I have found a place in my life where I believe in myself and don't live in fear every minute of every day. I am focusing on enjoying my life. I am not focusing on breast cancer. I have learned so much from my experience that I continue to try to support those that are behind me on the breast cancer road. I want to offer them a bit of hope when things seem so hopeless, just as others did for me.
Two years after my diagnosis, I have to say that life is great. I am happy. I feel healthy. I continue to pray for a cure for breast cancer and especially for those not as fortunate. Please God, let there be a cure.
