"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Friday, December 7, 2012

It's Been Two Years

As I looked at the calendar today I realized that tomorrow it will be exactly two years since the whole breast cancer thing started.  Two years ago they told me "it no longer looks consistent with something benign".  I can still remember the exact words.  I can still remember that beautiful, clear, sunny December day when everything changed.  Sometimes I can't believe it all happened and other times it seems so real.

When I look at my life now, it could not be any more different than it was when I was diagnosed.  If you told me two years ago that I would quite my career, stay home, do volunteer work and be a soccer mom I would have laughed.  Now, that is my reality.  It's a far cry from the type A, career driven working mom I was before.

The other day I was driving in my car and thinking about my life now and just thinking how incredibly happy I am.  I love my new life.  I feel such joy everyday.  I feel like a completely different person than the woman I was before breast cancer.  I am glad that I get to experience this level of joy in my life, but feel sad that it took breast cancer to get here.  I know I can't change that so I don't dwell on it, but I just wish I could have gotten here a different way.

The other thing I thought about is "will this all come crashing down"?  Life feels so good now....will something come along and destroy that?  I know that sounds negative, but life seems too good to be true at times.  That scares me.

As I think about how I felt at the beginning of my diagnosis, how I felt one year after diagnosis and how I feel now I realize just how far I have come.  I have found a place in my life where I believe in myself and don't live in fear every minute of every day.  I am focusing on enjoying my life.  I am not focusing on breast cancer.  I have learned so much from my experience that I continue to try to support those that are behind me on the breast cancer road.  I want to offer them a bit of hope when things seem so hopeless, just as others did for me.

Two years after my diagnosis, I have to say that life is great.  I am happy.  I feel healthy.  I continue to pray for a cure for breast cancer and especially for those not as fortunate.  Please God, let there be a cure.