It has been a wonderful yet crazy week and a half since my last post. Lots of good news which makes me smile. First of all, the bone scan was clear! What a relief. I was so worried about mets in my ribs since I have been having rib pain again since my surgery. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I realize that this is part of how life will be now moving forward. It is going to take a lot of time and counseling to help me figure out how to deal with this in the years to come.
The other good thing to report is I had a fabulous vacation. I spent a week with my sister and her kids, plus four other great friends and their families. We travelled to the Outer Banks for a week to celebrate me being healthy and done with treatment. It was an amazing trip in so many ways.
The first great thing was being able to spend time with those people that supported me through everything in the past 8 months. When we made plans for this trip several months ago the purpose was to celebrate my recovery. I had no idea this trip would also be full of good-byes now that we are moving out of state tomorrow. I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to spend time with all of the people that love me and care about me so much. What a great gift this trip was.
The other good news is that this trip showed me that there is life after breast cancer. For the first time since my diagnosis I got a dose of something "normal". I spent my days like any other mom on vacation - in the pool or at the beach swimming with my son. I laughed with my friends. I had a few cocktails. I cooked dinner for the group. We made sandcastles at the beach. I sat in the sand and got it all over me. After the second day I realized I was no longer "consumed" by breast cancer. It made me remember what life felt like before I was diagnosed. It made me realize that I can have my life back and that breast cancer WON'T define me.
The highlight of my trip was lunch with my girlfriends with cocktails. Now that I don't drink much I was a cheap drunk and got tipsy pretty easily. We had a few drinks over lunch and laughed and had a great time. That was just what I needed. It is the best I have felt since getting diagnosed. I am so grateful for my dear friends that knew just what I needed. Now I have to remind myself that I can live that carefree life every day if I "choose" to. It is all about your mind and attitude. I have to kick the evil thoughts out of my mind and just live in the moment. I need to focus on living, not breast cancer.
This week we move out of state and start a new life. It's an opportunity to have a clean slate and not be consumed with breast cancer anymore. No one there knows what I have been through and because I still have my hair, they will never know unless I choose to tell them. I hope that with new surroundings and lots of things to keep me busy I can focus on something other than breast cancer. I look forward to the new life me and my family will be building in Chicagoland.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI am a student at the University of St Andrews, Scotland, studying geography. Currently, I am doing a research project into the role of online blogging for individuals impacted by cancer. I would love to speak to you about your experiences.
If you would like to please email me :)
Laura
lke2@st-andrews.ac.uk
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI have a question about your blog. Please email me!
Thanks,
David
Isn't it heavenly to return to something normal and far removed from cancer? To be with friends, sit on the beach. So glad you had that time and the realization that this move, even though it's stressful and sad in some ways, can be a time of rebirth for you. Savor each new experience. I hope you build a great life in Chicago.
ReplyDeleteBrenda