"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Friday, December 7, 2012

It's Been Two Years

As I looked at the calendar today I realized that tomorrow it will be exactly two years since the whole breast cancer thing started.  Two years ago they told me "it no longer looks consistent with something benign".  I can still remember the exact words.  I can still remember that beautiful, clear, sunny December day when everything changed.  Sometimes I can't believe it all happened and other times it seems so real.

When I look at my life now, it could not be any more different than it was when I was diagnosed.  If you told me two years ago that I would quite my career, stay home, do volunteer work and be a soccer mom I would have laughed.  Now, that is my reality.  It's a far cry from the type A, career driven working mom I was before.

The other day I was driving in my car and thinking about my life now and just thinking how incredibly happy I am.  I love my new life.  I feel such joy everyday.  I feel like a completely different person than the woman I was before breast cancer.  I am glad that I get to experience this level of joy in my life, but feel sad that it took breast cancer to get here.  I know I can't change that so I don't dwell on it, but I just wish I could have gotten here a different way.

The other thing I thought about is "will this all come crashing down"?  Life feels so good now....will something come along and destroy that?  I know that sounds negative, but life seems too good to be true at times.  That scares me.

As I think about how I felt at the beginning of my diagnosis, how I felt one year after diagnosis and how I feel now I realize just how far I have come.  I have found a place in my life where I believe in myself and don't live in fear every minute of every day.  I am focusing on enjoying my life.  I am not focusing on breast cancer.  I have learned so much from my experience that I continue to try to support those that are behind me on the breast cancer road.  I want to offer them a bit of hope when things seem so hopeless, just as others did for me.

Two years after my diagnosis, I have to say that life is great.  I am happy.  I feel healthy.  I continue to pray for a cure for breast cancer and especially for those not as fortunate.  Please God, let there be a cure.


  1. If someone you know or someone you love has developed cancer, it can seem like a death has happened. Sometimes cancer is fatal, but that doesn’t mean that you can view your loved one as being at the end of their life! After diagnosis there can be many years of wonderful living ahead for a cancer patient.cancer information

  2. Just thought I would check in! Congratulations on the 2 yr mark. I also am celebrating being healthy. Yes, life is great and I know now not to waste a day....OK maybe sometimes I do just laying in a hammock reading a book ;-) Check in with you in a few....

  3. How about we check in in 50??? I am glad you are doing well. I don't write as much anymore as I am busy with everything going on. There is nothing wrong with laying in a hammock and reading a good book! Be well!!!