Quote:

"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Saturday, June 6, 2015

A Different Perspective

It has been six months since I have written anything.  Sorry for the long delay but the good news is that life does return to normal after breast cancer and I am just busy with everyday life stuff!  It's good to not be consumed with cancer talk and crazy thoughts all the time.  I won't say that cancer talk and crazy thoughts aren't there at all, but as time goes on, the amount of time spent on this stuff in my daily life gets smaller and smaller.  I know it will never go away completely, but I feel like I have come to a place and have accepted the "new normal" and it's OK.

Now when I talk of cancer, it is usually because someone else I know is going through it or going through another type of tragedy in their life.  I notice that the things I learned by going through breast cancer have offered me incredible insight, understanding and compassion for others no matter what type of tragedy or bad thing in their life they are experiencing.  I feel I can speak from a place of understanding that I never knew before breast cancer.  There is a sincere empathy and place in my heart that reaches out to someone as if I can actually feel their fear and pain.  I just feel a different connection to those around me when they are in a time of need and for that, I am thankful.

Before breast cancer, I always thought of myself as being empathetic, caring and the type of person to help someone in need.  I guess I did the best I could, but now I realize that it my ability to feel these things and act on them is at a whole new level.  Instead of saying nothing to someone because I don't know what to say or saying something like "it will all be OK", I find different words that are more comforting.  I can say "I know you don't know what the future holds and I won't tell you it will all be OK but I will tell you I am praying for you and here for you to talk or help".  I can not just slough off the pain, fear and sadness they are feeling and move on with my day..it really touches me and I have this deep sense of empathy that breast cancer taught me. 

As I go through day to day life, I am continually touched by family and friends that are in a bad place. One good friend lost her husband 6 months ago and she is left with two small children.  I watch her struggle and "feel" her sadness and uncertainty about the future.  I hate when people on Facebook post "you are so strong" to her....she's not strong, she's scared and worried.  She is doing all she can to just keep it together just as anyone would in her situation. I never say "you are strong".  I tell her she is everything to her kids and her best will be enough for them.  They will feel her love and it will be more than the love of two parents that are here.  I remind her nothing is perfect but I grew up with only one parent and while I always missed my father growing up, I see what an incredible job my mom did of raising three kids and am so amazed now that I am a parent of what she accomplished by herself. 

Life is hard and I guess that going through breast cancer has taught me so many things that I do think about every day.  I have learned that life is short and before something tragic happens in your life, you take things for granted.  I have learned that the little things people stress out over are not worth it.  They hold no place in "the big picture".  I have learned to "let it go" when people are unkind or bitter about petty things.  I also have learned to pray for them in hopes that they will "figure it all out" without a horrific tragic event in their life to put it all in perspective.  I know I move forward in a place of greater empathy, kindness and concern for others.  I have learned to try to see the good in the world and people.  I have learned to reach out to others in a time of need instead of staying away because I don't know what to do or say.   I am not perfect....never will be, but I have grown in so many ways since my breast cancer experience.  Those of us that have breast cancer always say "breast cancer is the gift that just keeps on giving".  I guess it does just keep on giving, but in so many ways and not all of them are bad.   Some are powerful in a good way.  :)

8 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. WHAT A GREAT MIRACLE THAT I HAVE EVER SEE IN MY LIFE. My names are Clara David I’m a citizen of USA, My younger sister was sicking of breast cancer and her name is Sandra David I and my family have taking her to all kind of hospital in USA still yet no good result. I decided to go to the internet and search for cancer cure so that was how I find a lady called peter Lizzy she was testifies to the world about the goodness of a herbal man who has the roots and herbs to cure all kind of disease and the herbal man email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man @herbalist_sakura for my younger sister help to cure her breast cancer. I contacted him and told him my problem he told me that I should not worry that my sister cancer will be cure, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that I will cook it and give it to my sister to drink for one week, so I ask how can I receive the cure that I am in USA, he told me That I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier service so I used it as the herbal man instructed me to, before the week complete my sister cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 5 million us dollars the herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from the hospital please contact dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com or whats app him +2348110114739  you can follow him up on Instagram @herbalist_sakura for the cure, he will help you out with the problem. And if you need more information about the doctor you can mail me davidclara223@gmail.com 

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  2. If i lived in the same city as your friend who lost her husband, maybe I could help her. I am retired and have some mornings free. I live in Orlando. I really feel for women in this day and age. A friend's daughter just was diagnosed with breast cancer and she has a child under a year old. Tons of heavy metals, and nanometals, also mercury. Do high magnesium from natural sources and mag oil to help chelate it - Research. You look like a thriver and I am happy for you. I gave the mom of that person some info. Drink lots of carrot juice too for prevention of recurrence.

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  3. Cured of TNBC!
    I want to take this time out as a cancer survivor to encourage women out there still suffering from this with my story on how i got a cure. The sad news about it is that i was diagnosed on my 36th birthday in 2008 and with stage 3 TNBC which after i made research was a very aggressive form of cancer at that point i decided and told myself i was going to die and that the end has finally come. All my life i never thought of having breast cancer because i was very active and i worked out at the gym several times every week and my diet was okay. In my search for a cure after 6 years of diagnosis and even after chemo which i did twice spending thousands of dollars but to no avail, until a church member told me all about Dr Aleta a herbal doctor that specializes in treating TNBC, who could help me with a permanent cure, i doubted this at first but i later gave it a try following her methods and instructions. It took 3 months and after it all i felt normal but still went for diagnosis and i was clean today i am proud to say i am a cancer survivor no nodes and i am totally free the new diagnosis confirmed it. Do not die in silence or ignorance because of breast cancer just simply reach her on aletedwin@gmail.com and also for any related cancer illness don't be shy just speak to her today.

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  4. ALL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS WITH HIS HERBAL PORTION I WAS COMPLETELY CURED FROM BREAST CANCER.
    I'm here again to appreciate. DR WILLIAMS God will always continue to bless you more abundantly, for the good works you don in my life, I will always keep on writing good and posting my testimonies about you on the Internet, I’m Jessica from Orlando, Florida. I was tested breast cancer positive, I saw a blog on how DR WILLIAMS cured people with his herbal portion, i did not believe in natural medicine but i just decided to give him a try, I contacted him,and explain my situation to him,few day later he sent me the herb, after taking doc Williams herbal medicine for few week i also got my healing with his herbal portion, i am so happy. If you have any type of cancer problem or you are also infected with any kind of disease, contact him Drwilliams098765@gmail.com for advice and for his product,i hope this testimony also help some one out there

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  5. Lung cancer often goes unnoticed in its early stages. As the disease develops, a persistent cough develop and chronic cough worsen. include chest pain, shortness of breath, hoarseness, bloody fluid coughed up from the respiratory tract, and frequent bouts of bronchitis or pneumonia. Sometimes the first was bone pain, headaches, dizziness,I was so piss off and tired of my life until i read about Dr Itua herbal medicine on blogspot i really thought it was scam when i first contacted him so little time i think about it and bought the herbal medicine which i took for three weeks and i was totally cured his treatment is so unique,I never thought i will be able to be free from Lung Cancer.But not only this Lung Cancer This great man can cure,Dr Itua also told me he can cure such diseases like... COLORECTAL CANCER, BLADDER CANCER, PROSTATE CANCER, KIDNEY CANCER, LUNG CANCER, SKIN CANCER,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.Alzheimer's disease,
    Dementia. UTERINE CANCER, LEUKEMIA,HIV/AIDS,OVARIAN CANCER,BLOOD CANCER,MEN/WOMAN INFERTILITY,BURKITT LYMPHOMA - NON-HODGKIN.BRONNCHIAL TUMORS, BRAIN TUMORS,BILE DUCT CANCER,BONE CANCER,VAGINAL CANCER,HERPES VIRUS,LOVE SPELL,HEPATITIS,HE'S A GREAT HERBAL DOCTOR.HERE HIS CONTACT EMAIL::: drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com/ info@drituaherbalcenter.com. WHATSAPP:::+2348149277967

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  6. I AM SO VERY HAPPY TODAY!!! That is why am giving this big thanks to Dr.momoh for curing me from HERPES. I have been suffering from HERPES for the past six (6)years and i tried everything possible to get myself cured but i could’nt get any solution! until i decided to try herbal cure. That was how i got in contact with this great herbal doctor in an online research, i contacted him and demand for the cure and he send me the cure through UPS and gave me instructions on how to use it and after one week of taking the herbal medicine of Dr momoh  i went to the hospital for check and to God be the glory i tested HERPES negative, (I am so glad to see myself HERPES negative once again). I’m very proud to express my happiness through this platform and to say a big thanks to Dr. Momoh for restoring my life back to normal. You can as well contact Dr. Momoh via email: dr.momoh9@gmail.com or you can call and whatsapp him on +234 708 372 4098 if you are infected with HERPES virus or having any health problems you can contact Dr momoh and he will help you. DOCTOR momoh CAN AS WELL CURE THE FOLLOWING DISEASE:1. HIV/AIDS2. HERPES3. CANCER of all kind4. HSV 1&25. Herpatitis B6.Diabetes7.HPV8.COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease)9.Asthma10.Acute angle-closure Glaucoma11.Sickle cell12.CHRONIC PANCREATITIS Dr momoh is capable of curing any type of diseases with his herbal medicine. 

    ReplyDelete
  7. WHAT A GREAT MIRACLE THAT I HAVE EVER SEE IN MY LIFE. My names are Clara David I’m a citizen of USA, My younger sister was sicking of breast cancer and her name is Sandra David I and my family have taking her to all kind of hospital in USA still yet no good result. I decided to go to the internet and search for cancer cure so that was how I find a lady called peter Lizzy she was testifies to the world about the goodness of a herbal man who has the roots and herbs to cure all kind of disease and the herbal man email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man @herbalist_sakura for my younger sister help to cure her breast cancer. I contacted him and told him my problem he told me that I should not worry that my sister cancer will be cure, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that I will cook it and give it to my sister to drink for one week, so I ask how can I receive the cure that I am in USA, he told me That I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier service so I used it as the herbal man instructed me to, before the week complete my sister cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 5 million us dollars the herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from the hospital please contact dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com or whats app him +2348110114739  you can follow him up on Instagram @herbalist_sakura for the cure, he will help you out with the problem. And if you need more information about the doctor you can mail me davidclara223@gmail.com 

    ReplyDelete