"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Monday, March 19, 2012

Back to Reality

One of the things that other people don't get about having breast cancer is there is NO cure.  When you get surgery and go through chemo, once you are done, people think you are cured and life is good.  Well it certainly is great to be done with treatment and I am trying my best to make life good, but the fact the breast cancer is not curable still haunts me at times.

For the past two weeks, I have been having rib pain.  Like most other normal breast cancer gals, my mind immediately thinks "it's baaaack"!  Then I have to try to talk myself down off the reccurence ledge so I don't jump.  I have to be realistic and have it checked out by my doctors to make sure it is not a recurrence. 

What people don't get is that every little pain we get or experience, thrusts us back into the thoughts of having cancer again.  It can recur anywhere at anytime.  Some people live for years or the rest of their life with no recurrence, but many women have it come back.  How do I not get zapped back to the reality of cancer every time something hurts?  This is mentally exhausting.  What makes it harder for me is I exercise a lot so something always hurts. 

So for now, here I sit with thoughts of my reality with some rib pain.  I guess I better start calling my doctors tomorrow.  And have I mentioned lately that after all of this I am really sick of doctors?


  1. Thank you so much for giving me your blog site. I have read a good bit of it.....thank you for being so honest! I will be back to read more!
    I walked again this morning, 1.5 miles, and I really think that walking 5 days this past week has made such a huge difference! I read that you exercised 5 days throughout your chemo. I decided this morning that I wanted to walk 5 days a week. As soon as I am cleared (I think he said one month) I will try the elliptical. I would love to try to run, but I will follow my PS directions.
    It is so nice to meet you. Thank you for being both real and positive! :)

  2. Roan, glad you stopped by for a visit! That's great that you are getting your exercise in. You CAN do it..just a little slow at first but eventually you will be back to doing everything you use to do. I taught aerobics a few weeks after completing chemo. You WILL get there! Hugs!