"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Meeting my Bosom Buddies

Breast cancer has certainly brought a lot of things to my life I never expected.  Of course, most of them are negative things.....lumpectomy, bilateral mastectomy and chemo to name a few.  It has been a long ten months but during that time I have also experienced some things I never expected that were positive.  One of the best experiences I have had was making friends with other women diagnosed with breast cancer around the same time I was.  Over the last ten months I have forged a close relationship over the Internet with some truly wonderful women that have forever touched my life.  I never expected this.

Back in February after my surgery I posted on a breast cancer chat board looking to chat with other women recovering from surgery that were into exercise and doing physical therapy after surgery.  Several women joined in on my chat, but a few months into it, most ladies didn't return.  By that time it was just down to seven of us that posted regularly.  We all encouraged each other to do our daily exercises and eat healthy.  There was so much enthusiasm and support.  It was great!

Over the course of the last several months, we have learned so much about each other.  We moved our chat group to a private facebook group  (named appropriately "Bosom Buddies") and exchanged cell phone numbers.  Many of us have talked on the phone too.  We all live in different states so getting together is difficult so the computer and cell phones are the easiest way for us to communicate with each other.

Last week two of my Bosom Buddies were here in Chicago and I got to meet them!  I have been looking forward to this for months!  It was amazing to meet these wonderful women.  I never thought posting a message on a breast cancer chat board would result in something so incredible!

What's strange is we got to know each other backwards (one of my Bosom Buddies said this at lunch last week).  They knew all my deepest darkest secrets and fears of breast cancer right up front before they even knew my real name.  As time went on we shared more about our recovery, post surgery physical therapy, pain and emotional issues related to breast cancer.  Then we started to talk about our families, share our real names and even connect on Facebook and see what everyone looked like.  Our friendships continued to grow and get deeper.  Now, ten months after my diagnosis I can't start my day without checking in online with my Bosom Buddies.  We chat and post updates through out the day and share so many things.  Now our friendship is so much more than just breast cancer chat. 

As I think about all the bad things I have had to endure through the last ten months, it is nice to think about the positive things that came out of all of this.  My Bosom Buddies are definitely at the top of that list!  I don't know what I would have done without these amazing women to listen to my fears, offer advice, make me laugh and give me recipes for healthy dinners.  I am so truly blessed to be friends with such wonderful women.

Meeting two of my Bosom Buddies was the best thing that has happened to me in such a long time.  I was wondering if it would be strange since we had never met before, but it was completely natural.  Once we met it was like old friends getting together for lunch.  I spent last Friday with one friend and then on Saturday all three of us went to lunch.  It was so much fun!  We really had an amazing time and saying good bye after lunch was hard for all of us. 

When I think about what these friendships mean to me, it gets me emotional.  I always refer to them as "my girls" when my husband asks who I am texting or chatting with online.  They are "my girls".  The bond we share is something different because most of my good friends don't "get it".  They try to say the right things about breast cancer and they mean well, but they really don't understand.  I find myself refraining from saying some things to those friends because it just makes me feel alone.  These wonderful women have filled a void in my life that no one else could fill.  For that I am forever grateful and truly blessed.  I don't know what I would do without "my girls". 


  1. From one Bosom Buddy to another, thank YOU for starting the thread which started it all — and led to amazing friendships between total strangers with one big, bad thing in common (breast cancer) that we refuse to let define us.


  2. Renn....I am so glad I got you as a friend with my BC diagnosis. I could not have gotten through all of this without my Bosom Buddies! You are the best girl!