"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


I knew it was coming...October, which is breast cancer awareness month.  It all started a few weeks ago when I was shopping innocently at Kohl's.  I wandered into the kitchen department - I am a sucker for cooking supplies.  I can't help it...I am Italian and love to cook!  I walked to the end of the aisle, and there it was, the first pink display I saw.

The display was for baking supplies.  There were pink plastic bowls, pink whisks, pink spatula as and more.  The whole area was full of pink kitchen stuff.  I immediately wanted to run in the other direction as at that very moment I was not thinking about my breast cancer (I don't get many moments where I am not thinking about my breast cancer these days!) and now I was reminded.  Ugh!  I quickly walked away and went on about my business.

Later, I stopped at Costco for some groceries and there it was, the next pink display.  This time it was a whole refrigerator full of pink yogurts for the cure.  All I could do was push the shopping cart quicker and get out of that aisle quickly.The next day I stopped at Old Navy to buy my son pants.  There it was, the next pink display with t-shirts, sweat pants, tank tops and more, again all for the cure.  How will I get through a whole month of this???

These encounters with pink all occurred in September which is clearly before Pinktober.  I can't even imagine what I will see next!!!  I have such a hard time not thinking of my breast cancer throughout the day.  No matter what I do, my mind always seems to go there sooner or later.  I get so few moments or hours of not thinking about my breast cancer, it is hard to have these reminders everywhere during this whole month.  An innocent trip to Staples for some folders was another smattering of pink.  There were three separate displays of pink office supplies including scissors, calenders, daily planners, clip boards, pens, highlighters and more!  Then I saw the huge copy/printer paper display with a sign that said "Print for the Cure".  Blech!  I grabbed my "non-pink" folders and ran for the check out only to see another display there.

At this point, I am trying to forget my breast cancer.  I don't even want to go run errands as the pink crap is everywhere.  I know it is meant to help educate others and remind women to get mammograms and such, but these companies are also making a ton of money off of these items with only a small percentage of proceeds going to research.  In addition to that, the pink crap is driving us breast cancer survivors crazy.  Like I need any help going crazy about breast cancer....I was doing fine by myself before Pinktober!  It's going to be a long month......


  1. Thank you for your honest response to pinktober. I found my lump at the end of September and was "officially" diagnosed with IDC on October 14. My family thought it would be good to take me to a pink party fund raising event that night. I had no idea how i was even feeling, still numb. People were greeting me asking how I was and I would politely reply "great and you?" They had no idea that I was an emotional mess inside. But I totally understand what you mean by your mind thinking about your breast cancer and those moments of distraction are precious. Happy to read your blog. Thank you for sharing your journey (((hugs)))

  2. Found your blog through a post on breastcancer.org. Had my bilat mastectomy Dec 22, 2010. I'm going through a lot of the same emotions at this point ... and yeah, the pink stuff got me down in Oct. Just thought it was me being negative. At a grocery checkout stand the clerk asked if I'd like to make a donation to breast cancer. I muttered, "I already have." Then I thought, what's wrong with me? I feel better after having read your post. :) Thank you.