"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Surgery Is Looming...again

I keep trying to put it out of my mind, but I have one more surgery scheduled for December 9th.  At this point I just want to be done with this crap!  It is physically and emotionally draining to keep having treatments and procedures.  Ugh!

This surgery will be for areola grafts and nipples.  Yes, I am getting nipples for Christmas this year.  I guess that is better than last year's gift of breast cancer if I think about it....

I can see why people get to this point and don't have more surgeries.  I am dreading another surgery and more recovery.  This is such a long process.  In this surgery, I will have a nipple made from the skin on my breast.  Then the surgeon will take skin from my lower stomach (my c-section scar) and create areolas and graft them on my breasts.  I guess the bonus is a mini tummy tuck (after an almost 10 lb baby I am not complaining about that!!!  My tummy was never the same after my son was born!).  From the photos I have seen from this type of reconstruction surgery, the results are the most realistic looking.  Regardless, I just want to be done with this whole thing so I can move on and live my life.

Last year when I was diagnosed, I quickly realized it would take about one year to get through all of this.  It seemed so long and overwhelming at the time.  At this point it's just kind of emotionally draining.  I keep telling myself that in two weeks it will be 1 year since my diagnosis so just do the surgery.  I knew it would take a year and the year is almost over.  I can start to see light at the end of the tunnel. 

For now, I will put the surgery out of my mind.  I will have the Scarlett O'Hara point of view and say "I will just think about that tomorrow". 

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