"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Monday, January 2, 2012

How Did I Do?

The new year often brings about a lot of reflection and thoughts about your life, last year and the new year to come.  For me it really brought me back to where I was at this time last year.  It was a pretty bad place for me.  At this time last year I was filled with fear, anxiety and so much unknown about what was to come with treatment.  It was very overwhelming and emotional. 

I am not usually one to make any type of new year resolutions, but last year I did.  I guess I needed some goals to shoot for and a way to look to the future.  I have not looked at those resolutions until now.  I really don't remember too much of what I wrote as it was a crazy time, but now I want to know how I did at following through.  Here are my resolutions and results:

1. Complete all surgeries and close the door on breast cancer. (I did have my last surgery on December 9th!!!)

2. Take a great family vacation filled with fun, good times and laughs once my surgeries and treatment are complete.  (A few months post chemo and after I got my real implants, I took a vacation to the Outer Banks with my dearests friends, their families and my sister and her kids!)

3. Get back to teaching my aerobics classes as soon as possible.  (I did get back to teaching aerobics a few weeks post chemo but when we moved I had to give up my class.  I am subbing classes here when I can but have not found a regular class to teach weekly - no one is hiring but I am still looking and subbing!)

4. Become a peer to peer counselor for women newly diagnosed with breast cancer.  (I actually just applied a few weeks ago and just got an email back asking me to schedule an interview so this may be in process!)

5. Raise money to help fight breast cancer! Get involved and make a difference in finding a cure!  (Oh no...I have not done this at all yet.  Actually I don't think I am emotionally ready.  I just was so repulsed by Pinktober I just couldn't go there.  I hope to get my head on straight and do something this year for the right breast cancer organization).

6. Don't sweat the small stuff...just say "who cares"? .....this will be hard...I am completely type A and a worrier!  (I am doing much better on this especially since I started taking Lexapro.  I am the one telling my husband to chill out which is rather odd for me!)

7. Get my business up and running and leave my current job. I need to bring in some money so I can make this happen.  (I did do half of this one...I did quit my high stress job in the corporate world, but I have not done much with the business.  I had high hopes but I did not plan on moving out of state and moving twice in four months.  I will work on this for 2012!)

8. Be the best damn mom, wife, daughter, aunt, sister and friend I can be! Tell everyone I care about how much they mean to me and make sure they know I love them! (I feel good about this one.  Since quitting my job and moving, my son and I are even closer.  I also think my husband and I are closer too - and happier.  I am far from my family now because of moving but we are trying hard to stay close by phone, internet and visits).

9. Lose a little of the "type A-ness" in me. Learn to relax, meditate, do yoga or something that will allow me to slow down and enjoy simple moments in life instead of always trying to conquer the world and plan a dinner party.  (I have been attending yoga and the cancer center when I can and hope to make it a weekly thing.  I also do some yoga, relaxtion and stretching after every workout now.  It is very calming and clears my head).

10. Continue to bring a more spiritual presence into my life and celebrate religion and faith as a family.  (I need to be more focused on this one in 2012.  We just found a new church we like and joining the parish is on my list of things to do in January!)

11. Smile. Love. Be positive. Be happy. Just BE!  (This will always be a work in progress but I am doing well with this one!)

Now that I review all of these, I am proud of myself.  I really have not looked at these in a year and I actually have made many changes in my life towards these resolutions.  I think these changes were for the best.  Now the question is, what do I want to accomplish in 2012?  I am going to have to give it some thought and create my 2012 resolutions.  It is good to have some goals to shoot for!


  1. That was a mighty list to have made last year, when you didn't know what lay ahead of you.

    More amazing is that you accomplished nearly everything on it despite the many changes you encountered!

    Congrats, kudos, applause! You rock!


  2. I hope you get well soon and all your resolutions fulfills. My prayers and wishes to you. Your attitude and courage is really incomparable. :)

  3. I have been following your blog since my diagnosis with breast cancer last March - 3 months after yours.... I am 41, had a double mx, chemo, recently relocated to a new state mid-treatment - so many similarities... Too many women our age are affected.
    Thank you for giving all of us a voice.