"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Getting Back To My Life

It has been so long since my last post.  Looking back I have not posted since my son got out of school for the summer!  I am a full time Mommy these days which leaves little time for blogging.  I did not fall of the face of the earth and I am still doing great - just much busier these days with sports, swim lessons, play dates and afternoons at the pool.  I guess that's all good compared to where I was a year ago!

When I think about a year ago, I was in the midst of dealing with the aftermath of chemo and my hair was still shedding and stressing me out.  We were also just starting the process of moving out of state.  Life was really crazy then and it feels SO MUCH better this summer.

I finally feel like life is "normal".  I never thought I would say that.  It's strange but I am not consumed with breast cancer 24 hours a day and 7 days a week like I use to be.  I still think about it, but it's far less often than it use to be.  I have been busy getting back to my life and learning how to live as a breast cancer survivor.  I have finally come to a place where I am not ashamed of what I have been through.  I feel more open about it and have actually talked more openly about it even with new friends I have met since moving here.  This is another surprise for me.  I never thought I would say that either.

Some things in my life are still different, but it's not necessarily bad.  I am really enjoying doing yoga every week.  I like how I feel so calm after I do a class.  I am more focused on running.  I am up to running 8 miles at a time.  I have never done that before now!  A half marathon is still in my mind so I may try to do that later this year.  I don't miss my crazy career at all.  I thought being home would make me bored, but I am busy with taking care of me and my family.  I feel like that job never ends.  I am also really working on decorating this house!  I refuse to live here for 7 years and still have rooms that remain unpainted like the last house.  I want to decorate it and enjoy it.  I still have not gotten my business off the ground yet, but once my son is back in school I hope to regain my focus on that.  All of these things are positives in my life.  All of these things are happening because of my breast cancer. I guess I am trying to realize that every event in life causes other things to happen.  Sometimes bad things lead to good things. For that, I am grateful.  I have a saying I always say "sometimes you have to go through the really shitty stuff to get to the really GOOD stuff".  I hope the "shitty" stuff is all done because things are pretty good now.

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