"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Giving Birth To A New Life

This week it will be 9 months since I was diagnosed.  In some ways, time has gone so slow, but in other ways it has gone by so fast.  I sit hear thinking about something I said to a friend a long time ago.  I mentioned that going through this is kind of like being pregnant.  You make many sacrifices and go through changes but at the end of the 9 months there is something to look forward to.  Obviously with being pregnant, it would be a beautiful baby.  With breast cancer it is being done with treatment and a "birth" of a new life - your life but cancer free.

I can't believe it has actually been 9 months.  I feel like the 9 months of breast cancer seemed far longer than the 9 months of being pregnant, but then again I was actually one of those women that felt good being pregnant and liked it.  I certainly did not "like" the breast cancer "pregnancy".   Blech!  Instead of a "glow" and long flowing hair like a real pregnancy, I had a pale, sick look with thinning hair.  Oh and with pregnancy there is weight gain while with breast cancer there is weight loss.  I guess in both cases, my boobs got bigger (which is a benefit!). 

Out of my breast cancer, a new life was born.   Now I move forward trying to understand this new life, the life of a woman that HAD breast cancer.  For now it is gone from my body, but how do I make it disappear from my mind?  That is the daily struggle at this point.  It's a whole new journey.  I know it is a process and as I have learned in the last 9 months, time changes things.  I hope with the next 9 months it brings me less focused on breast cancer and more focused on the wonderful life I DO have. 

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