"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Minutes of Normalcy...Then Back To Reality

This weekend my family and I set out to have some fun.  We went and visited Santa, saw a holiday movie and then headed to downtown Chicago to enjoy the Christmas lights.  We took a horse and buggy ride and went shopping and had a great time.  We then went out for a nice dinner.   For most of the day, I felt "normal" again.  I was not thinking about breast cancer.  I felt like I was living life again.

At dinner though, I got thrown back into reality.  We were sitting there, having a wonderful dinner and then it changed.  My five year old son looked at me and said, "Mommy, I am going to come over and give you a hug".  He got up and came to my chair and just put his arms around me and squeezed me tight.  I asked "why do you want to give me a hug right now?".  He said "because I love you so much".  It hit me then exactly how much he loves me.  I started tearing up and starting having panicked thoughts of not being here for him.  I could feel how much he loves me and needs me.  Breast cancer is so damn unfair.  It just plain sucks.  Back to my reality of never having a care free life again. 

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