Today I took my son to the indoor waterpark for a day of fun with his cousins. Normally I would think about putting on a bathing suit and get worried about my butt looking too big or something. This time I was worried my "stripper boobs" would not stay put in my bathing suit!
Here is the deal about tissue expanders. They are completely ugly and unnatural looking. They look like two coconuts under your skin. They also are not close together like regular breasts. They sit more towards the arm pits and sit further apart than normal breasts. The tissue expanders when filled are also really hard and don't move like normal implants. So needless to say getting into a bikini was causing me some serious anxiety!
Earlier this week I went shopping for bathing suits and it was ugly! Lord I could not find anything that would cover up enough of the ugly tissue expanders that I could wear in public. After I went shopping I asked my husband "what am I going to do?" He simply said "don't worry about it. People will just think you just got a really bad boob job or you are a stripper". Well that is exactly the message I was hoping to send at the family water park....NOT! You gotta love a man's perspective though. I admit it made me laugh a bit!
I searched through my closet and tried on every bathing suit I had from before surgery but my new breasts are so much bigger. I took the pads out from the suits and I actually found one that fit me better than anything I tried on while shopping for a bathing suit. What a relief!
I did wear my suit today but I felt very nervous at first. Since having surgery I don't really have feeling in my chest so if my bathing suit moves around from being in the water, I don't necessarily feel it or know that I need to straighten out my bathing suit. I felt very worried about this but to my surprise I had no issues and didn't even flash anyone (which is a good thing since it is a family waterpark!).
I also was worried that I would just look funny but I quickly got over that. As I looked around I checked out all the other women's racks...yes, I did just say that. I normally do not check out other women's boobs, but for now hair and boobs are my obsession! After I looked around I quickly noticed that most women have saggy, flat, old lady boobs. Mine were kind of saggy too before surgery. This quickly made me feel better and I didn't worry about it anymore. Then I just had a fun time with my son with boobs out of mind!
I am a wife, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a neice, an aunt and a friend. I never thought I would hear the words "It's not good. There are cancer cells". December 8, 2010 changed my life forever. This is my scary, long, enlightening journey through breast cancer. I hope that my words help others facing a similar situation or those that love someone going through breast cancer. I don't know where the road in front of me leads, but I know that Breast Cancer won't define me.
"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Hiding my stripper boobs
Labels: Breast Cancer
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I found you on the breastcancer.org site - been meaning to check this out for a while - I'm at my wits end with shedding - and you posted info today that helped me put things in perspective. Thank you - also - I got a laugh from your stripper boob story - your husband sounds just like mine (I'm going through the TE thing now - hope I get them replaced with human-feeling parts soon - hate these hard as rocks un-boob-like projections - but they do take my mind off of my shedding problem:) Luckyjnjmom
I love this post. I am having the same issue. I don't mind these weird looking expanders with clothes on, but in a swimsuit? Yikes! :)ReplyDelete
I guess I don't know what expanders are, every day I learn something new...I will go back to the forum and see what I can find out!ReplyDelete
Tissue expanders are temporary implants placed under the chest muscles to prepare the body for the final implant to be placed a few months later. The tissue expander is injected with saline every few weeks to expand it larger and slowly stretch the muscle and skin to make space for a permanent implant. They are hard, ugly and usually unevenly placed and look odd. I was glad to get those out! They were ugly!!!ReplyDelete
Thanks for posting this! I found your blog by searching tissue expanders and bathing suits. I'm currently shopping for bathing suits to cover these suckers up and it's a nightmare!ReplyDelete
It IS super hard to hide those! So glad I have regular implants now....you will soon get rid of those nasty things and it will be a lot better!ReplyDelete
Oh my goodness. I went through this very thing this past weekend and actually spent two days crying because it was such a traumatic experience (trying on swimsuits). Thanks for the smile. I love your attitude.ReplyDelete
I've just installed iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.ReplyDelete