"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Still obsessing about the hair..yes, the hair

I am now 10 days past my second chemo and 4 1/2 weeks after my first chemo and still have a full head of hair thanks to the Penguin Cold Caps.  I won't say this week went by without stress over the hair, but overall it went well.  As I was told there will be shedding periods with the cold caps, but you will keep most of your hair.  They are right!

The shedding was definitely the worst last weekend.  I was so freaked out (read my previous posts!!!).   I have never cried over my hair before!  I can say calmly today that the shedding has continued to decrease each day.  That gives me hope that I can do this and keep my hair. 

This week I was to afraid to wash my hair and it is recommended to only wash once or twice a week during chemo if using cold caps.  I was so scared to wash but my hair got so gross.  I realized yesterday when I went to the gym that I was actually embarrassed to go with my hair looking like that.  I guess since most people go to the gym with gross hair, if you are embarrassed to go there because of your hair, it is time to wash the hair!  So I fretted all morning and most of the day and by 3pm I bit the bullet and washed my hair. 

With the cold cap protocol you wash your hair in cold/cool water so it's never relaxing....so I began and it was not that bad on the shedding.  I did lose some hair...more than I would lose before starting chemo, but when I got done, I still had a full head of hair.  I keep reminding myself that each time I look in the mirror. 

I realized this morning that it IS working well for me.  I went to my son's swim lesson (I never go because I am always teaching aerobics classes on Saturday mornings) and felt like every other mom in there.  No one would ever know I have breast cancer or that I am going through chemo.  My husband introduced me to another dad that brings his son to the same class and it was nice to feel "normal".  He knew I taught aerobics on Saturday mornings and can't usually come to class (apparently my hubby told him),  I simply said I was off teaching due to an injury right now.  That was way better than saying "I have breast cancer" and getting "the look".

So despite being worried over losing hair a bit, it IS working.  The Penguin Cold Caps are worth the effort.  I plan on ending chemo with my hair and dignity!

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