"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Hair, hair, hair...it's still all about the hair!

This past week my hair has been shedding so bad!  I knew with Penguin Cold Caps I would have shedding and lose some hair but I was not emotionally prepared for it to continue like this even over five weeks after finishing chemo.  This past week I have had worse shedding than the entire time during chemo!   Enough already!!!

I know that as I see every single hair fall I panic.  I know that it's crazy when you feel a bunch of hairs that have fallen out just dangling from the bottom of you hair and you grab them and it's a handful it's stressful.  I was not prepared to actually count that handful of hair and realize there were 65 of them!  I have never stopped to count the hairs that fell or save them in a bag to compare how much I lost each week...I simply just scoop them up and throw them away or simply use the Cone vacuum and suck them up.  This time because so many came out I felt compelled to count them...yep, there were 65.  I had not even combed my hair so lord knows how many more would come out after that!

It was so alarming this week that I did not comb my hair for 3 days....who does that?  I wore a hat and clipped my hair back loosely for 3 days.  Yesterday it was time to wash it and I was petrified!  I had a dream the night before that all of my hair starting falling out in clumps.  I was tempted to take xanax before washing my hair to help me cope.   Who does that? 

So I sucked it up after procrastinating and cleaning the kitchen and finally got the nerve up to wash my hair.  I did not take the xanax.....I talked myself out of that.  No one should require xanax to wash there hair (I keep picturing reading the bottle and having it say "take one pill 30 minutes prior to washing hair"....). 

When I combed it before washing, a lot came out as expected.  When I washed, I lost some but not as bad as I imagined given how much it was falling out all week.  I let it air dry mostly and when I looked in the mirror after, I still had what looks like a full head of hair.  It's not styled so pretty, but it is in fact a full head of hair regardless of every single hair that continues to fall out daily.

The rest of the day I continued to pick hairs off my shirt...yes, it shed like crazy all day again.  Hopefully it will stop or at least slow soon.  On a positive note, my hair has grown about two inches since starting chemo (my roots are the proof) and I actually had to tweeze some stray eyebrow hairs this week (I have not done that since starting chemo in March!!!!).  So I guess hair is starting to grow again a little.  That's great news since I am sick of playing connect the dots with my eyebrows.....

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