"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Feeling more like myself today

Surgery was 3 days ago and things are going well.  I slept well at home last night.  I only woke once in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, have a cracker and take some more pain medication.  I have been trying to take the pain medication every four hours so I can keep the pain away.  That has worked very well so far. 

This morning I got up around 7am and just relaxed in bed for a while.  My son came in and brightened my morning with his giggle and smile.  We hung around in bed a while and had some cheerios for breakfast.  I have been drinking a lot of water too.  After breakfast I wanted to get cleaned up a bit.  I decided it was time for a bath.  I cut a hole in a garbage bag and slipped it over my head.  I tied up my drains with some shoe laces.  I placed a small towel around my neck and secured it with a hair clip to prevent any water from getting down under the garbage bag.  I sat in a nice, hot bath and that felt great.  I soaked, washed my lower body and even shaved my legs.  My friend washed my hair and rinsed it using a large cup.  It felt so good to feel clean again!

I got dried off, she stripped my drains and changed my dressings.  I put on some comfy sweat pants and stepped into a tank top with a shelf bra in it.  I slipped an open sweat jacket on that had pockets which are perfect for my drains.  I even blow dried my hair and put a little make up on.  I feel a little like myself today.

I finally did look down at my chest.  I was not sure I wanted to see, but I know I had to look at some point.  I looked and it really wasn't that bad.  I have lost so much weight since getting diagnosed (13 lbs) that my breasts had gotten smaller anyway.  Right now in a tank, it is barely noticeable that they are smaller.  They did fill me with 125cc's and on someone small like me, it looks like an A cup.  I don't feel self conscious at this size in a tank because I was never that big to begin with.  That makes me feel pretty good.

The oncologist called today and discussed my treatment.  It looks like she and some of the other medical oncologists think that chemo would be a good part of my treatment especially since I am younger and want to treat aggressively.  They feel because I am healthy that the risks are few.  I briefly discussed preserving my hair and she says that is an option and will get me some data to review. 

Right now, I feel good.  My family and friends have filled my home with cookies, flowers, gifts, reading materials, cards, blankets, pillows and homemade meals.  I feel comforted so much by all of the kindness and generosity of those that love me.  I know I am in good hands and will be OK.

The main source of discomfort right now is poop, or lack there of!  My goodness...I have taken laxatives and stool softeners and still can't go.  I have not gone to the bathroom since Thursday morning.  I don't know how I can eat any more food until I go!  Lord I know the colon is like 22 feet long, but it doesn't mean I need to fill all 22 feet with stool!

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back and glad you are feeling better. Each day I'm sure you'll feel stronger. Maybe up the dosage of stool softeners? That backed up feeling is no fun.