"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wait 2 months for 2nd opinion....NOT!

I am agonizing of the "chemo or not to chemo" question and just thought a second opinion would help out in some way.  I decided to call the first cancer center I had seen (where I was diagnosed) and see if I could meet with a medical oncologist.  After passing me around on the phone for a long time, I was told I could not see a medical oncologist until mid-March.  Are you kidding me?  I told her "well I would need to be treated before then if I am having chemo".  Ugh....as if having cancer isn't bad enough, they want you to wait and have another two months of anxiety over chemo or no chemo.  Yes, I do realize that they would not start chemo until 5-6 weeks from now (4 weeks after my surgery and my surgery is next week), but it doesn't mean I want to ponder that dilemma and question it for the next two months while I recover from a major surgery that is also emotional.  Talk about torture!

I have been dealing with two cancer centers on my journey and I can say there is a distinct difference on how I am being treated at both of them.  The center I have chosen to go with is so thorough, compassionate and goes out of there way to give me time to ask questions it's incredible.  The other one is always a hassle.  It was like trying to create world peace or something when I called to get copies of my films.  You would have thought I was asking for them to do something impossible.  While I love the center I am having treatment at, I am just not sure what to do about chemo.  I really thought hearing another medical oncologists opinion may help solidify my decision in some way.  I guess now I must seek a second opinion from a well respected hospital that is not a national cancer institute in my area because it's the only option.  At least they can get me in for an appointment in two days.  I guess I have nothing to lose, right?

I would love to go to another national cancer institute for a second opinion, but it's just not possible to travel out of town at this point since my surgery is next week.  I do have the option of having a second opinion on the pathology by mail through John Hopkins.  I am not sure that will give me the answer I am looking for since I really want to discuss treatment. 

I have said it a ton of times on my blog....this is SO hard!  I know I am searching for answers to questions no one can answer - even the qualified medical oncologists.  It is such a frustrating component to this whole situation.  I keep praying to God each day that there will be some sign that will let me know what to do.  I keep praying for one bit of information that makes my decision just a little easier.  I guess that is a lot to ask for, hu? 

No comments:

Post a Comment