"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Bigger and bigger

Yesterday I had my second fill in my tissue expanders.  That was fun (said sarcastically!).  I drove an hour to the plastic surgeon's office and my nurse was so happy that I was doing so well.  She was amazed and so encouraging.  That was nice and made me feel good as a lot of this feels like a struggle.  She also told me that she was so excited I was doing the cold caps to keep my hair.  She said I was the first patient in her 12 years of doing this that has ever tried it.  She wants to follow up close with me on the whole process and wants information for her other patients.  It's just so sad to me that more people don't know about the cold caps and are not told about this choice to keep their hair and dignity during chemo.  I hope to change that a little and be living proof it works.  Gosh now I really feel some pressure for it to work well....I would hate to show up in the office in a wig...nothing like a little more pressure.  Yikes!

After my first fill last week, I was up to 220 cc's in each breast.  She wanted to put an additional 100cc's in each side yesterday!  I told her I was concerned because I drove there myself and had an hour drive home!  So she listened to me and put in less....an additional 70cc's in each side.  I could feel the pressure as she put more saline in.  It doesn't really hurt bad it just feels tighter and tighter.  The needle part doesn't really hurt either...you barely feel anything.  It's really not that scary.  I just felt tight when I left and took it real easy driving home. 

So now I have these two, round, awkward tissue expander breasts - one is higher than the other (which is common....they never know how they are going to lay in there).  I don't notice it so much in clothes, but naked looking in the mirror I can tell.  They are probably a little bigger than my own breasts were so I am getting use to that.  I will try another fill next week and try and decide how big I want to go.  It's kind of cool.  I have been waiting for my breasts to grow since I was twelve!  The boobie fairy finally came!

I can say that last night my chest muscles were almost spasming!  Ouch!  I had a rough night sleeping.  I did force myself to do the physical therapy exercises before bed and I cursed the whole way through because it hurt horribly!  I woke up a lot during the night so sleep was not good.  I did the exercises again this morning and they were a little easier.  In a day or two I will be back to where I was yesterday before the fill.  I keep saying it feels like "just a bad workout".  I can do this.  I can't wait to have my real implants and have a little cleavage! 

No comments:

Post a Comment