"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Thursday, February 24, 2011

My hair-saving arsonal

I am trying to finalize everything I need to start chemo next week.  I am trying to get my chemo diet in order so I can make sure to eat as healthy as I can all through chemo to keep my body strong.  I am also trying to get all the supplies together that I need for the whole hair-saving extravaganza!  I had no idea this would be so labor intensive.  Oh well, I guess it gives me something to do in the coming weeks! 

I have paid for the cold caps and gotten my instructions for how to use them so that is ready to go.  Now all the supplies!  I have been trying all different organic, sulfate free and paraben free hair products in the past few weeks to see if I can find things that will work with my new hair care program.  In addition I had to get some ColormarkPro natural root touch up kit (you can't dye your hair for a while and I need root coverage!) at the tune of $21 for a small bottle!  Ouch!  I then had to get some headbands and hair scrunchies (yes, I did say scrunchies...who knew they still existed?  I thought they were gone in the 90's....I can't believe I have to wear them - but the will pull less on my hair).  I then had to get a satin sleep cap to protect my long hair while I sleep so it doesn't get pulled by rolling around.  Well what's a satin sleep cap without a satin pillowcase?  Got one of those too.  Then I bought a water misting bottle for the days I can't wash my hair.  I also had to get moleskin pads to protect my forehead while wearing the cold caps.  I even had to buy some panty liners to cut and put on my ears during the cold cap treatment so my ears don't freeze.  So now I am sitting here picturing what I am going to look like with moleskin on my forehead, panty liners on my ears and a frozen cap on my head!   This will be quite a look.  Now I am on the hunt for a subzero thermometer...all in the name of hair.  The good news is that my new electric blanket arrived today - that will be my new favorite thing for chemo days. 

I am trying to get myself emotionally ready for this.  For some reason this whole chemo thing really freaks me out.  Maybe it's because it somehow really makes me a cancer patient...maybe I am in denial....I don't know.  I just know that I am very anxious.  I got an Rx of Ativan just for the occasion and plan to take it right before I leave the house that morning.  I am scared of the whole process of the cold caps and worried that we won't do them right or something.  I am scared that I will feel really bad from the chemo and have side effects.  I know once I start walking the chemo road, I will just keep walking like I did on the mastectomy road (and that road had not been that bad for me so far).  I have to really dig deep within myself to get through the first chemo day.  I am scared I will want to give up on the caps because it will be so uncomfortable.  I need to set my mind on finishing chemo and just moving on with my life with my hair in tact so there is no daily reminder of chemo and cancer.  I just want to keep picturing a wonderful summer with my family.  I just have to keep that picture in my mind during every hard moment of the chemo.   It is going to be a long nine weeks. 

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