"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

What am I going to do with all of this cancer info

I can't believe how much I have learned since finding out I had breast cancer.  I feel like I have been on the fast track to getting my degree in "breast cancer for dummies" or something.  I have already mastered getting diagnosed, pathology 101, lumpectomy and bilateral mastectomy.  Now we move on to chemo.  I just can't believe that in a matter of months I can now discuss cancer grading, staging and sentinel nodes.  It's just crazy!

I have also been reading so much on how foods effect my hormone sensitive breast cancer.  For now I am completely overwhelmed by selecting foods.  It seems like there is so little credible information out there on foods and impact on ER/PR+ breast cancer it's a big guessing game.  Sometimes I go to the kitchen when I am starving and just look in the refrigerator or pantry and get paralyzed by what I should eat.  My head says "hmmm,what can I eat that won't kill me?"  Sometimes I get so frustrated I just leave the kitchen with no food and an empty stomach and just don't eat.  I guess that has probably contributed to the 15 pounds I have lost since getting diagnosed.  I really have to get a grip on this so I can get back to enjoying food.  I am 100% Italian...this is torture not enjoying food!  Come on...you know what I mean, "mangia" already!

So I was thinking about this wealth of knowledge I am gaining and wondering what am I going to do with all of my new information?  I know that I can't be the only person going through this, especially with the whole food thing.  Maybe once I master the list of "good foods" I can come up with good ways to enjoy them.  I LOVE cooking and entertaining.  I love taking recipes and making them healthier so I can indulge guilt free.  Maybe I should develop some of my own recipes that incorporate all of these good foods and find a way to really enjoy eating them.  I can't imagine a life of eating sticks and weeds and never enjoying a great meal.  Being Italian, I am not sure that is even possible!  Maybe I can develop a small cookbook or something.....just an idea.  I don't know when I would find the time to do this while working, being a mom and wife, working on my new business, getting better from cancer and all, but maybe, just maybe it would be fun.  I know for sure it would make me feel great to help someone else who is paralyzed in front of the refrigerator or pantry because of breast cancer. 

The other thing I have been thinking about is exercise.  I use to be a personal trainer in addition to teaching aerobics, but let that certification go because I just didn't have time to do everything.  Now I am wondering if down the road it would be rewarding to work with other breast cancer patients with exercise during and after treatment/surgery.  I know how important it is to stay healthy and strengthen your body and spirit.  Exercise plays such an important role in helping with that.  I also know that it has been so comforting talking to people that have actually walked the long, dark and scary breast cancer road.  Maybe as I move forward I can shift my career back to my roots of fitness, but in a way that brings even more satisfaction and purpose into my life.  I don't know if all of this is possible, but these are things I am thinking about.  I feel that once you get the big "C", you evaluate everything in your life.  These are some of the things I have been thinking about.  I feel like helping others through something like this would really make me feel good and like what I do gives others hope and encouragement. 

Well, these are some "lofty" goals and ideas especially since I have such a long way to go myself.  I guess I will put them on the back burner just a little since I have a ton to get through in the coming months.  I just made a promise to myself that I would in some way do something to help people get through breast cancer, increase awareness or raise money to help find a cure.  I want to make sure I follow through on my commitment.  This is too important. 


  1. You have a great attitude.

  2. I've been thinking of you and praying for you.

    I'm am VERY far from being a fitness guru. But I can *completely* relate to being paralyzed by what to eat. I can honestly say that I have eaten better than I have in my entire life since my 1/13/11 diagnosis.

    And exercise is going well, too. :)

    I love your spirit and attitude about everything.

  3. I am glad I am not the only one paralyzed in the kitchen. I am sorry you got diagnosed too. We will fight this together! Keep up that exercise and smile a lot..it's good therapy. :)

  4. Interesting post I enjoyed read this.