I can't believe how much I have learned since finding out I had breast cancer. I feel like I have been on the fast track to getting my degree in "breast cancer for dummies" or something. I have already mastered getting diagnosed, pathology 101, lumpectomy and bilateral mastectomy. Now we move on to chemo. I just can't believe that in a matter of months I can now discuss cancer grading, staging and sentinel nodes. It's just crazy!
I have also been reading so much on how foods effect my hormone sensitive breast cancer. For now I am completely overwhelmed by selecting foods. It seems like there is so little credible information out there on foods and impact on ER/PR+ breast cancer it's a big guessing game. Sometimes I go to the kitchen when I am starving and just look in the refrigerator or pantry and get paralyzed by what I should eat. My head says "hmmm,what can I eat that won't kill me?" Sometimes I get so frustrated I just leave the kitchen with no food and an empty stomach and just don't eat. I guess that has probably contributed to the 15 pounds I have lost since getting diagnosed. I really have to get a grip on this so I can get back to enjoying food. I am 100% Italian...this is torture not enjoying food! Come on...you know what I mean, "mangia" already!
So I was thinking about this wealth of knowledge I am gaining and wondering what am I going to do with all of my new information? I know that I can't be the only person going through this, especially with the whole food thing. Maybe once I master the list of "good foods" I can come up with good ways to enjoy them. I LOVE cooking and entertaining. I love taking recipes and making them healthier so I can indulge guilt free. Maybe I should develop some of my own recipes that incorporate all of these good foods and find a way to really enjoy eating them. I can't imagine a life of eating sticks and weeds and never enjoying a great meal. Being Italian, I am not sure that is even possible! Maybe I can develop a small cookbook or something.....just an idea. I don't know when I would find the time to do this while working, being a mom and wife, working on my new business, getting better from cancer and all, but maybe, just maybe it would be fun. I know for sure it would make me feel great to help someone else who is paralyzed in front of the refrigerator or pantry because of breast cancer.
The other thing I have been thinking about is exercise. I use to be a personal trainer in addition to teaching aerobics, but let that certification go because I just didn't have time to do everything. Now I am wondering if down the road it would be rewarding to work with other breast cancer patients with exercise during and after treatment/surgery. I know how important it is to stay healthy and strengthen your body and spirit. Exercise plays such an important role in helping with that. I also know that it has been so comforting talking to people that have actually walked the long, dark and scary breast cancer road. Maybe as I move forward I can shift my career back to my roots of fitness, but in a way that brings even more satisfaction and purpose into my life. I don't know if all of this is possible, but these are things I am thinking about. I feel that once you get the big "C", you evaluate everything in your life. These are some of the things I have been thinking about. I feel like helping others through something like this would really make me feel good and like what I do gives others hope and encouragement.
Well, these are some "lofty" goals and ideas especially since I have such a long way to go myself. I guess I will put them on the back burner just a little since I have a ton to get through in the coming months. I just made a promise to myself that I would in some way do something to help people get through breast cancer, increase awareness or raise money to help find a cure. I want to make sure I follow through on my commitment. This is too important.
I am a wife, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a neice, an aunt and a friend. I never thought I would hear the words "It's not good. There are cancer cells". December 8, 2010 changed my life forever. This is my scary, long, enlightening journey through breast cancer. I hope that my words help others facing a similar situation or those that love someone going through breast cancer. I don't know where the road in front of me leads, but I know that Breast Cancer won't define me.
"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
What am I going to do with all of this cancer info
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You have a great attitude.ReplyDelete
I've been thinking of you and praying for you.ReplyDelete
I'm am VERY far from being a fitness guru. But I can *completely* relate to being paralyzed by what to eat. I can honestly say that I have eaten better than I have in my entire life since my 1/13/11 diagnosis.
And exercise is going well, too. :)
I love your spirit and attitude about everything.
I am glad I am not the only one paralyzed in the kitchen. I am sorry you got diagnosed too. We will fight this together! Keep up that exercise and smile a lot..it's good therapy. :)ReplyDelete
Interesting post I enjoyed read this.ReplyDelete