"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Monday, February 7, 2011

Getting ready for chemo with my husband at my side

Now that the decision is made, I have another whole thing to plan out and figure out.  Today I called about the Penguin Cold Caps for my hair.  It was nice to talk to someone in person about this and feel like I am getting the ball rolling.  I am so lucky that my oncology office has a freezer for them and supports patients that want to use them.  That will make this so much easier than having to bring them there in coolers on dry ice.  It's one less thing I will have to worry about which is huge at this point!

I have also read and heard from others that acupuncture really helps with chemo side effects.  I am going to check that out too!  I feel like everyone tells you how crappy chemo is (and I am sure it is crappy) and I just don't want to sit around and take it.  I want to DO SOMETHING about it.  If I can prevent some of those nasty side effects, I am going to take action and do just that.  I have control over that...not that I got cancer.  I just refuse to sit around and whine about it!  I am not going to do it!  I am NOT!  So now is the time to try new things and think new ways, right?  Heck, I have to since I got diagnosed with breast cancer....it's not like the same old same old, will do anymore.  These are new times with new, difficult things to deal with and I have to do just that, deal with it.  The more I take action, the more I feel like I have some control in this.  Yes, this is good for a self proclaimed control freak like myself.  I am going to get through chemo and feel pretty darn good if I have anything to say about it.

Yoga is the next thing on my list as soon as my plastic surgeon gives the big OK.  I have done a few Yoga CD's at home, but never taken a class.  I am going to look into this as I think I need something different in my exercise routine and I think the spiritual part of it will really help me achieve more inner peace.  I am looking forward to this and wondering how it will help me stay calm.  I also plan to continue to take time for positive thoughts and relaxation with deep breathing....I have to clear my mind and chill. That is so hard for me.  I am really high strung most of the time.  This is a change I want to make; a change I need to make for me.  Oh how cancer touches your life....

My husband and I talked about the hair thing today.  He has been so cool about it and supportive.  It's great!  I am so glad he is supporting me and plans to be there for every chemo to help me save my hair.  He is really saving more than my hair - it's my sense of peace and sanity through this crappy time.  I try to thank him for everything in some small ways, but I just can't even put into words how much I love him and how great he is.  I am tearing up as I write this because there is so much I want to say and need to say to him, but for some reason it seems so hard.  I know I need to work on this.  He needs to hear how much I need him and appreciate him.  He's a wonderful man.  He's not perfect, but neither am I.  I know he will be by my side and that makes me calm in some ways.  I know for now one thing I am planning is getting him tickets for a pro-basketball game in the coming weeks.  This way he can get out with one of his buddies and have fun doing what he likes - watching sports and having a beer.  He needs a break from my cancer and caring for me and our son.  He deserves that.  I want him to have that time to himself.  I am going to shop for tickets online tonight!  I can't wait to give him tickets to a game.  He will love it.  I will be happy that he is happy.  Life is good :)

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