"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The last wash........ahhhh, it's going to be a long few months

Chemo officially starts on Wednesday.  I don't feel ready.  I guess you are never really ready to do chemo, but what I really mean is I am not ready literally.  I have so much to do before then!  Ugh!

Since I am doing the Penguin Cold Caps to try to keep my hair through chemo, I am overwhelmed with that.  I spent the day doing trial runs with the caps with my husband so we could figure out what to do and how they worked.  I tried out my new electric blanket.  My husband searched all over town for an infrared sub zero thermometer so we can check the temperature on the caps.  I still have a few haircare supplies to get tomorrow.  Who knew I would spend so much time on hair with breast cancer?  I am so hopeful that I can spend a lot of time on my hair in the coming weeks and months!  That will mean the cold caps work wonderfully!

The title of my post is referring to the last normal hair wash.   With doing the cold caps, the normal hair routine of the past is tossed out the window for several months until my hair is definitely in tact and doing good.  So tonight I took a very long hot shower and washed my hair a long time.  I put the conditioner in and let it hang for a long time.  I then rinsed with nice, hot water over my head for what seemed like an eternity knowing it would be the last time I do this for months.  Ugh!

With cold caps, you have to wash your hair in tepid water - no warm or hot water for months.  You can only wash your hair once or twice a week too during chemo and beyond.  You have to really baby your hair.  No curling irons, flat irons, hot or warm hair drying (that is going to be fun since it is freezing here where I live and February!).  I have already switched to all organic hair care products that don't contain sulfates or parabens too.  That has been an adjustment in the past few weeks.  I have to give up coloring my hair for months too....ick!  I have already purchased the temporary hair color for my root touch up.  I have invested in a few cute hats and headbands with anticipation of many bad hair days to come.  I hope I do have many bad hair days - that will mean I have hair!!!

I don't mean to sound like I am complaining...it's just so hard to give up so many things you take for granted.  Even simple things like a relaxing hot shower with a good hair wash, or styling your hair pretty for a date with your husband.  With all I am dealing with, this should be the least of my worries, but yes, I confess, I am getting obsessed with the hair!  This is funny considering I am not much of a primper and don't always even wash my hair daily to begin with.  Now I am so worried it will be gone and for me that represents carrying a huge pink sign that says "I have breast cancer" around everywhere so the whole world will know my medical status.  This is bad enough to go through privately let alone announcing "I have cancer" to strangers at the grocery store. 

That shower with a nice hair wash tonight felt like "The Last Supper" or something.  It was odd.  I guess I will be dreaming about "the first wash" in the coming months, but for know I keep praying I will have something to wash in the coming weeks.

No comments:

Post a Comment