"Don't spend time worrying about how you are going to die. Worry about how you are going to live today"

Sunday, February 13, 2011

My breasts are growing!

On Friday I went in for my first fill on my tissue expanders.  I was not sure what to expect.  Prior to surgery I was a size A+ or small B.  After surgery with my tissue expanders in and filled with 120cc's of saline, I was a small A size.  Since I had lost 15 lbs after getting the big "C" due to stress, my breasts had gotten smaller anyway.  So now after surgery, they were really not that different in size than before surgery which was a relief to me.  It really didn't freak me out too much at the size.  I have been wearing my regular clothes since surgery and don't really look that different.  I don't think anyone would notice if I didn't say anything.

So back to my first "fill" appointment.  I arrived and saw the room all set up like a small surgery was going on.  That kind of freaked me out a bit...which is odd because I sell surgical products for a living and spend time in the operating room and watch surgeries a lot.  I guess I just don't like being the patient...that part freaks me out.

The nurse practitioner came in and she was so sweet.  She immediately put me at ease and explained everything.  She even showed us a sample of the tissue expander that was in my body so we could see what it would look like.  She got me all cleaned up and sterilized and got things started.  She first had to locate the port where she would inject the saline. She used a small "stud finder" like device and found the port quickly and marked it on my chest on each side.  Then she started to inject the saline in.  I thought because I was smaller to begin with they would inject a small amount.  WRONG!  She injected an additional 100cc's into each tissue expander.  That was odd.  I couldn't feel much of the needle, just the increased pressure of the saline going in. 

I wasn't sure how it was going to look or how it was going to feel after getting more saline put in.  I could definitely feel some uncomfortable pressure in my chest and it felt harder ot move my arms.  I took some motrin when I got home to help a bit.  My breasts looked a little bigger, but they seem to expand sideways before projecting outward.  It feels like the tissue expanders exanded under my arms!  It's a bit odd since I never had breasts under my arms before.  The nurse said that is normal and they will expand in the width first before expanding forward.  Oh well.  They look strange to me undressed but in clothes so far, it's not noticeable at all even without a bra.

I did notice that sleeping flat was now uncomfortable again so I was back to being propped up on pillows at night (boo!).  I also noticed the beginnings of the nerve pain I felt after my first surgery.  Everything across my chest and under my left arm (where the sentinel nodes were removed) feels chaffed and raw.  Just the fabric touching my skin when I move my arms makes it all burn.  I know from my first surgery that this started out small an got worse each day before it got better.  Last time it lasted about two weeks.  I hope this goes away quick.  It's annoying and uncomfortable.  I know there is nothing I can do about it but push on through it.  As Dori in the moving Finding Nemo says "just keep swimming, just keep swimming"!

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